Man it's nuts how difficult it is to make a game. I don't know why I have dragged my feet so hard on this project. I feel so slow, like it's taking forever. I guess it's the biggest project I've made and certainly the best so far but still... I need to be more consistent.
I seem to work really hard in bursts and then kind of fall off for a while and then get back on it. It just won't do. I can't really make progress if I keep letting myself down like that.
Whatever.
Anyway, I'm back. Today I worked on the level up animation just wanting it to look nice and clear for the player. I realize that there are probably lots of different moments where I want there to be some spacing between events, like dead time, to let the player process what the hell is happening. This may require some system eventually but I'm just using coroutines with WaitForSeconds for now.
I can do it damnit. I will keep this up and I will finish this thing. I just need more time for it. I have to dedicate more time to it.
Perhaps I just need to get at it before work again. I'm always juggling everything I have to do... it's frustrating that no system is perfect and any time I concentrate on one thing it reduces the energy for another. But that's just reality. That's just the case.
I have been spending more time on personal development which is absolutely vital and important.... but... I just have to make progress on this game. This is the work which I am trying to produce. Of course it is most important that I am a good person and that I handle things well.... but... I just don't know.
It's so hard to do well on things.
It's just hard to make a fucking game!
But I'm not giving up. It will be done. I will get there. I will. I honestly feel like I should just keep working right now. But I am exhausted. I need to get to sleep soon.
To be honest I also am obsessed ROOT the board game right now. I bought the digital version and it's been awesome but also quite addicting. Which is fine. I just.
I don't know.
I feel guilty that I'm not getting this work done. That this is the last thing I'm doing with my day.
It's just difficult to stay focused after work and after working out. I mean also I need to spend time with my wife and dogs. I mean this is just life. When I have kids it will be even more demanding.
There isn't time for everything. Or is there?
Ok well.
Tomorrow I will get some work in. That's a fact. Tomorrow morning, I will get up early and I will get the fuck to work, and I will make serious progress on this shit.
Excuse my emotional outburst. I am just ashamed of not having been focused lately. I have a duty to make this thing happen and I am just struggling to bring it into existence.
Maybe I need to give something up for now.
This is a bunch of bullshit. I am just feeling guilty because I haven't been working consistently. I just need to be consistent. That's it. Okay, emotional breakdown done. Finished. I'm gonna get some fucking sleep and I'll put in some work tomorrow, then the next day, then the next day, and then the next day, until the damn thing is done, and I'm not gonna bitch about it, I'm gonna remember why I'm doing this - because I like to motherfucker not because I have to. This is not something I am a slave to, this is something which must serve me. Period. That's right baby.
Alright later. I sound like a crazy person.
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