Continuing the Work

 I have been thinking a lot lately.

This is a hard thing. There's only so little time... I'm just one person. I'm one person, who has problems concentrating and being disciplined, who's not that good at coding, and certainly not an artist or any sort of genius. And I'm trying to compete with people who are better in different kinds of ways.

The thing is though. That doesn't mean I'm fucked.

I suppose I just believe that just because these supposed disadvantages are true, doesn't mean I have no advantages. I am resourceful and creative. I am passionate, and I think most importantly, I am dedicated to the long game. I'm not on any timeline - other than the span of my life. There is no rush. There is only taking the next step, doing the next thing. 

So I must remember to be patient. It is quite tempting, when I get excited, to want to complete as much as possible, to get it out there and finish this and that, to make something amazing. But, I have to remember, these feelings are just feelings. I'm just excited. Motivation is great, because it helps heighten my ability to achieve, but, it is not what's going to make this thing happen. What's going to make this happen is steady, small, boring discipline. Daily work. Never quitting.

I will be motivated, like I am now. And at times, I will be discouraged. But I will not allow these feelings to dictate who I am or how I look at what I do. I do this because this is my dream. I am not going to let go because I don't feel good about things. I'm going to stand up and fight.

There are many angles at which to attack this. The most important thing out of any quality - something I can actually manifest - is persistence. I am no genius, I am not especially talented or creative, but I certainly can be persistent. And I can be disciplined. And I can do my very best.

Anyway. I threw the whole immersive menu thing away a while ago and I've been working hard on the little things. I started doing just one hour in the morning and trying to put one hour in the evenings. Really my goal was 3 hours a day, but it's proving difficult. Anyway, since I'm working in such small time chunks, I have to break down tasks and also plan ahead what I'm gonna be working on or else I'll show up for my one hour before work and have to think about it then - I don't have time for that, I need to produce. So the plan is to do the thinking and break things down on Sundays. During the week I do not consider doubts or changes in direction. I just do the fucking work.

Been helpful so far.

 

I nearly killed this project because I reached too high.

 In fact, I nearly killed my passion for game dev entirely. I just wanted to be better than I am. This game is really neat. I am proud of it. It's nothing like what other people can make, but still, I made it. It's neat damnit!

I just wanted to be successful already. I wanted to be like a really high performer. And I can be. I have plenty of time to get there. It's just like, I'm so inexperienced, and I should just make what I can make now and not fucking worry about how much money I make or how many wishlists I got. I need to perfect the craft first and fuckin have fun with it or what's the point? 

I'll still try to market, I'll still try to make this quality, but man.... I just put way too much pressure on myself.

Anyway. I'm back after a long, long break. I'm wrapping this project up this month and making something new. I learned so much and I'm ready to act on those learned lessons.

Man I can't wait to make something new tbh.

But this has been fun and I look forward to putting it out there.